Paying My Indifferent Dues

“The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference."

– Elie Wiesel

It was never about hate for me. But for so long it was also not about love.

It was about indifference. Unbeknownst to me of course.

All the things I didn't care about because I didn't know about them.

All the ideas I didn't care about because they were ideas that seemed irrelevant to my insular mind, my provincial world.

All the people I didn't care about because I didn't know they existed, wasn't interested in knowing if they existed, didn't care about them when I found out they existed.

All the disregard, all the unconcern, all the nonchalance.

All the indifference.

And as the indifference expanded, unchecked, it inflated into arrogance and sarcasm and spite and apathy.

It was never about hate. It was about indifference.

The missed opportunities for empathy, for curiosity, for trust.

For connection, for collaboration, for community, for compassion.

For liberation, for healing, for beauty, for transformation.

For evolution of consciousness.

For love.

Ah, yes, the missed opportunities for love.

For far too long. But not now.

I rarely miss those opportunities now.

I am no longer indifferent. I've paid my indifferent dues. Spent twenty years paying them.

Changing. Growing. Improving. Immersing.

Loving.